The Simple Truth

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spankmehardbarry:

yesterday i went to the library to read because im a nerdy girl and i love to read, unlike most girls. (: anyway i was reading twilight and tHEN I SAW ANOTHER GUY READING TWILIGHT AND HE CAME OVER AND STARTED FINGERING ME AND THEN HIS MOM SHOWED UP AND LIT HIM ON FIRE OMG THEN I ASKED HER IF SHE HAD TUMBLR AND SHES LIKE “SUPERWHOLOCK” AND GAVE ME HER URL AND IM SCREAMING

(via capri-sunburns)

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fukkkres:

white mom: quit roughhousing!

white son: fuck u mom

white mom: oh heavens! thomas are you going to let your son talk to his mother like that?

white dad: go to your room billy right this minute!

white son: fuck u both *goes to room and jacks off and smokes weed out of mountain dew can*

(via capri-sunburns)